the muses of a bear cub.: Influence

Rawr.

I think the power of influence is super duper strong.

The power to make people think what you want them to think... It's not easy to comprehend. Nor is it easy to master or manipulate. I think with the right influences, people will change for the good and vice versa.

Peer pressure, following the trends, listening to 'mainstream' music... Etc. All these influences we see around us are all so scary. It's scary because one can easily lose their identity in this whirlpool of influences. You know, most people assume that to be cool, you should follow whatever the latest trends are. If you don't, you sometimes don't stand out.

I don't like to stand out. So I minimize my window. I don't become a person that likes to interact much these days unless it's a conversation I can contribute to. I try not to be a know-it-all even though I see almost everything that happens... Afterall, nobody likes a know-it-all. Nobody likes a goody-two-shoes. If I can help, I will help. If nobody replies, I will. If you have nobody to talk to, you can come to me and I'll listen. But y'know, listen to me in return and I'll love you for life. Help provide opinions to my conversations/topics, keep up with my conversation and encourage me, PLUS listen too? Dayummm. Let's get married and have lotsa babies. Aha! I kid. But no seriously, I'll worship you. :D

I actually adore the husky. It's my favourite breed of dog. If bears didn't exist, wolves would be my true loves. Be a husky and I'll love you.

Sometimes I wonder if I put myself ahead of others more than I'd like to think. Do I? Really? Is putting myself first before other really that bad? If I don't put myself first... Who else will? I... Want somebody that I can look up to, an inspiration. Somebody I can rely on. A partner that I can depend on no matter what the situation is. I don't mind being alone though. It isn't so bad. I think.

I'd like to think of myself as a nice person... I'm not unnecessarily mean or ignore people I don't like... I mean, meeting people and having things to talk about is part of life ya? You get my drift? But sigh.

To be yourself is what counts right?

I'm not perfect. I have my flaws. I at least know that. Don't be so harsh.

It is true, I think of things incredibly far away, I always ask rhetorical questions, I always always think that everybody has a good side. I have an attitude problem. But y'know, so far, I haven't been myself lately. I'm just really. REALLY. REALLLLLYYY lost. I'm serious about this. I really don't know much anymore. I don't know. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. And this scares the shit out of me.

What's in a name?

Anime? K-Pop? American-music? Drawing? Photography? Guitar? Arts & Craft? Badminton? I don't know. They don't seem to stand out to me as much anymore. Because... Of influence.

Y'know what are some things I want most now? I want to play pool, not as a sport or anything... Just... For fun. As something I'll indulge in once in a blue moon. Another thing I wanna do is to play FPS games. Games like Skyrim or like, Sniper. ): I also want to travel to Japan, Korea or Australia... You get my point. I don't want to stay here in this country... It bores me sometimes... ): Call me an ingrate but seriously that's how I feel more than half the time. Throw me on an island with basic necessities and internet and I'll be happy.

But what I really want...

Is to have purpose in life.

I sometimes think guys are lucky here in my country because, they have two years in the Army. They have more time to think about their futures more in-depth-ly than the girls do. And when they come out, they head to universities and start to pursue what they want.

The girls, after JC/Poly we head straight to universities then begin our life forever and ever until we die.

What will the future be like I wonder?

So scary, so scary.

By taking it slow and easy, will it work? Most people these days are shallow and don't look deeper into what a person is.

Sigh.

I'm so terribly sorry I keep repeating myself on these points.

Anyway, back to the topic of influence.

Influence isn't easy to mitigate. Nor is it easy to avoid.

YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE SHACKLES OF SOCIETY BECAUSE ALL OF US ARE INTELLIGENT BEINGS. WE WILL FIND OUR WAY TO YOU.

YOU WILL BE JUDGED.

HAHAHA

Sounds so fucking screwed up ya? :D

So that's it. Influence is the doom of us all. Oops, maybe greed... Hmm, that's not right. Actually y'know what? All the seven deadly sins are. And I'm not even religious.

Fuck it, y'know what, I LOVE MOPING. ._. I FUCKING LOVE TO REPEAT MYSELF OVER AND OVER. I can't hold proper conversations. FUCK IT ALL.