FOCAS

Hello my lovelies~ (: I AM BACK. :D WITH UPDATES ON MY START OF A NEW LIFE IN POLY.

PEW PEW PEW!

 Yeah so recently I just went for my very first polytechnic camp! Three cheers and three cheers and three cheers for meeee~ Cue applause and hiphiphoorays! :D 

Yayy. Camp is over.

So anyways, I found the camp on a whole, a rather interesting and fun experience. The activities, sleeping locations and people were entertaining (at most points, though not all), comfortable and soft-spoken yet pleasant respectively. To be honest, I didn't really had high hopes for this camp at the beginning after I first heard how my GL sounded like. He sounded so 'dao' and serious that I had no idea how to react. Turns out, he was a pretty nice guy who was witty and funny in a funny way. Pffthahaha. The other two GLs were pretty cute too! The female one was very very hardworking and presumably, tries her very best to make sure we are all accounted for. The other male GL was a crazy fellow with a lot of enthusiasm and thrust. Yes, thrust. Pelvis thrusts. (x

Staying within the boundaries of not-standing-out.

Throughout the camp though, I remained rather quiet as I didn't want to stand-out so much/take the lead and attract attention. Since I'm not pretty or have any particular outstanding quality, I decided to take a step back and let others do the work. And since everything turned out superb, well, G-O-O-D-J-O-B~ Good job, good job! I did my part in a sense that I cheered when necessary and helped others out if it was absolutely needed I guess. Besides, it's best to be a wallflower at times. (:

 

I believe many of my camp-mates/new school-mates found me a little rude and quiet. I'd like to think I am not that much of serious and silent person though. I mean, I just don't want to talk unnecessarily and miss out crucial information. (': I'm sorry to them if I ever made awkward talk and shit. 

BUT I AM NICE. I SWEAR I AM. D:

I'M WASN'T A STUDENT LEADER PRESIDENT FOR NOTHING IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL. D:

Agh, but you know what, since I went to the camp with my boyfriend and we were separated into entirely different groups... It was pretty much like this half the time. 

Light touches /allthefeels.

Sigh.

 He was a HULK and I was a FLASH. ASDFGHJKL. 

Truth be told, I think that the chances of us drifting apart during poly will be at least 50-50. I'm not sure how I feel about this. A little nervous and a little excited maybe. Nervous in a sense I'll be on my own again/going single and a little excited because I WILL be on my own. That scary feeling of starting afresh makes me all nervy. 

But. I don't want to drift.

Then comes the moment when you would probably ask how/why would we drift. Hmm, probably because of the soon-to-be conflicting schedules, camps and totally different lifestyles I suppose. Not forgetting schools. Our personalities and social circles are rather different so I feel that, hm. Things may happen and when they do I'm just going to be prepared. Already I can feel the surface of the ice crack a little. I'm just worried. But anyways, we'll see, I mean it's just beginning. He says it won't happen. But when you meet new people, you'll tend to forget the old. Partly a reason why I really want to migrate overseas when I start working and start ENTIRELY afresh in another country and environment. I'll be more comfortable in a place where I can wear long sleeves and long pants daily. Boots too. Negativeness begone! D:<

Haha, it is a known fact that girls think a lot more than guys but... How can we not when actions speak louder than words? I suppose it's a little bit rude to not ask about it but. Well. Sorry that we read in on the little-est of details because we care so much. In fact I didn't make more new friends probably because I felt that if I did, I wouldn't ever make time for my old friends anymore. So y'know what. It's about time to show my true colours. (: /strength. /levelup.

 BUT ULTIMATELY, ALL THESE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS HAVE NO MEANING AND I'M JUST OVERREADING THINGS. YAY. :D So yeah, now that I've spit and vomitted everything out, my heart feels so much lighter than it was before. YES MAN. That's the power of blogging!

Oh right, speaking of which. I had a... Scary dream last night. It was about my mother. She fell. I was... Scared. Very scared. I can't help but worry for my mum these days. After the incident with my dad, I feel that she may be a bit insecure and might break or go crazy anytime. Plus, with that leg problem I'm just upset. More than I'd like to admit and not to boast but... More than I'd want it to happen, my dreams come true most of the time. And after this dream... I really don't know. I don't really want to talk about this to anybody because they'll just brush me off as being superstitious/thinkingtoomuch... Blahblahblah. But it isn't a sin to care about other people. Also, not forgetting the fact that it's a sensitive issue... Bah.

Anyway a song I heard recently, it's lyrics in particular clicked with me somehow. It's Korean. It's Lee Hi's new song - Rose. 

 Every rose has its thorn. 

Video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff_SuAzll90&list=LLhPf1QYWFd2FlOT74KfI75g&feature=mh_lolz

I agree with most people when they say I'm nice. I am nice. But, inside my heart I actually harbour a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. Like thinking that so and so are mean and fucking hypocrites. I just don't say them out. If people knew what I was thinking, they'll probably hate me to the core. I haven't yet met a person who I can completely be myself around with to be honest. :/

 Anyway, that's all I have to post. I'm so terribly sorry that I'm a cruel and over-thinking person. (:

the bearcub stares at you intently with eyes that could pierce your soul. then shrugs and walks away.

I INSIST.

TAKE THIS WITH YOU ON YOUR ADVENTURE.

YOU REQUIRE THIS TOO.

The Lowdown.

G'day mate!

Today, my post will be on... Wait for it... Wait for it...! 

 ...

 ...

*DUN DUN DUNNNNN* 

...

...

A QUESTIONABLE QUIZ

Yeah so, basically I had a flashback about the time when everyone was crazy over these notes on Facebook and shit. So I decided I would revamp a little on some of these notes/make a new one to answer some questions out of pure boredom. (I should actually be like, watching anime (One Piece & HunterxHunter) but, y'know. I have to do other things too so I don't get sleepy.)

Without further ado... HERE GOES NOTHING.

THE QUIZ OF DOOOOOMM. NAH JK.

THE QUIZ OF 111 QUESTIONS.

1)Are you really ready for 111 questions?

 As ready as I'll ever be! *Peace*

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?

 Nope. It was completely planned/mutual/decided and is still ongoing.

4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Why is there no No.3? Anyway, it was my boyfriend. 

5) Do you regret it?

Nope. Obviously not.

6) Have you ever been depressed?

Yes. Yes I have. (': It was a time of pain and idiocy.

7)Are you a boy or girl?

I am a bonafide female!

9) What is your relationship status?

Attached! But I sometimes oogle at handsome men. (Truth be told) Like actors/idols...Etc. There is also no No.8! o:

10) How do you want to die?

I'd like to die in my sleep. Either that or die doing something I enjoy.

11) What did you last eat?

 I last ate Cake! GLORIOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE. PRAISE THE LORD. 

12) Played any sports?

Yep, I do Badminton. When I was younger, I did both Badminton and Basketball as a hobby with my friends. (BOUNCE BOUNCE)

13) Do you bite your nails ?

Nope! I think biting nails is scary because it makes your nails disfigured for some reason or another. But hey, to each his own! o:

14) When was your last physical fight?

Physical... Um. Awhile back. I wrestled with my boyfriend. o_o

15) Do you have an attitude?

Only to specific people. And I used to be pissed when I played online games. I would curse and swear at dying and all that shit.

16) Do you like someone? 

I love someone. But how do you define love? Hmmmm.

17) What is your real name?

That is for me to know and for you to find out. ;D

19) Are you gonna get high later ?

Maybe. If I eat some sweets or any sugary substance! o: I get high when I eat chocolate and anything with sugar in general. (OMG WHERE DID 18 GO)

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Nope. I figured that as humans, we shouldn't stay angry with each other for so long as it'll cause harm to ourselves and the people around us.

21) Do you miss someone?

Yeeeeep.

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

I twist it... AND THEN CUT IT. WEEEEE~ (CURL)(CURL)

23) Do you tan a lot?

Oh dear lord no! Tanning is bad for your skin! D: You'll grow old all wrinkly.

24) Have any pets?

Unfortunately no. I do not have any pets. )': Boohoohoo.

25) How exactly are you feeling?

I'm feeling... Amused and... Um. Thoughtful at the moment! *GUH*

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?

YEAH! I'll have you know, I ate a ice-cream once, once. AND I DIDN'T SPILL.

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?

Funny you should mention this but yes, yes I have! O: OH WE MUST NOT SPEAK OF SUCH EVILS. ;DD

28) Would you take any of your exes back?

Hmmmmmmm... No. Maybe one but. Nah. Nahhhhh. No. ._. I'm happy now.

29) Are you scared of spiders?

Oooooooohhhhhhh~ YEEESSSS I AM... NOT! MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yes... I'LL BE A TIMELORD. I'LL BE THE DOCTOR.

31) Do you regret anything from your past?

I regret not studying hard enough! And for doing many unnecessary things for people that ultimately don't give a damn about me. )': (SOBSOB)

32) What are your plans for this weekend?

;D You.

33) Do you want to have kids?

Hmmm~ I'll name him... Lancelot. And he shall be my Lancelot. :D As for her... Keira will do just lovely. KEIRAA DARLING. EAT YOUR VEGGIES.

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?

YES MUMMMYYYYY

35) Do you type fast?

I'd like to think I do! 

36) Do you have piercings? How many?

I HAZ TWO EARSZ AND SOZ I HAZ TWOZ

37) Want any more?

NAHHH. I'M PRETTY GOOD HERE.

38) Can you spell well?

YEAADDDAAA. Maaaaybbbeeee~

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?

): Yes... I do... )))':

40) What are you craving right now?

RAW FISH. *W*

41) Ever been to a bonfire party ?

Nah.

43) Have you ever been on a horse?

Oh yissss I haz.

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?

We don't really um drive.

45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I'm a heart-heart-heart-heart-heart-breaker~

46) Have you ever been cheated on?

YISS. DANGIT I NEARLY WON THAT GAME OF CHEAT.

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Uuuhhh-huhhhh~ I CUT ONIONS. IN FRONT OF THEM.

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?

Maaaybee. I'll think about it. ;D

50) What should you be doing ?

Watching anime! *DROOOOOLLS*

51) What’s irritating you right now?

How I never seem to find someone that has the exact same personality/traits/hobbies as me. ):

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?

Maaaayybeee.

 

53) Does somebody love you?

Yeeesss!! EVERYBODY LOVES EVERYBODAY.

54) What is your favorite colour ?

I ADORE GREEN. GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

;D OOH YES I HAVE. 

57) Do you have trust issues?

I did. I actually did. But not anymore. I realised that people get offended when you say you don't trust them. So I tend to keep to myself about these things these days.

60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

We have a FABULOUS relationship and I mean it! :DDD

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?

I don't really have proper-exes but! Relationships yes soooo. I suppose my most recent ex... Would think of me how I would think of him. That moment when pop! OH RIGHT. THAT PERSON EXISTED. O:

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?

It was a long time ago. I haven't cried in front of people for a very long time. I usually cry when nobody's at home and I cry in the bathroom when I'm showering because I sometimes hate myself for being a stupid girl with no talent. People usually don't know what to do when other people cry in front of them (including I, I have no fucking idea what to do except hug and console them), so I stop doing so to avoid causing others trouble.

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?

Omg I got so serious. o_o But yeah I do. Why not, I mean come on.

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?

It is easier to forgive than to forget. It's like a scar! Always there.

66) Is this year the best year of your life?

Not yet it isn't! ;D

67) What was your child hood nickname?

MON CHERIE ;D Nah. It was Cheri and Cher. :3

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Oooohlalala~ Nope! I should try that one day and scare other people. And get arrested... Wait. Nah. No. Won't do it. (WHERE IS 69 IS IT BECAUSE 69 ISN'T JUST A NUMBER)

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

You don't say?

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

I... I SHUT MY EYES.

73) What is bothering you?

My future.

74) Have you ever been out of your province?

WAI SO ANCIENT. PROVINCE?! xD Yeah! I HAVE.

75) Do you play the Wii?

Naaaahhahahaha. Kinect is much much much MUCH better.

76) Are you listening to music right now?

I am not. ): ANNNNDDD... I just switched it on.

77) Do you like Chinese food?

YEAHHHHHHH FUCK YISSSS.

78) Do you know your fathers b- day?

IT JUST PASSED! :DD

79) Are you afraid of the dark?

Interesting... Ummm. Yes. I believe monsters lurk in the darkness.

80) Is cheating ever okay?

^^ What do you think? Screw off.

81) Are you mean?

No. I'm not usually mean. But I can be if I want to I guess? Everybody is secretly mean deep inside.

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?

NOOOOOOOOO D: (WHERE DID 83 GO)

84) Do you believe in true love?

I'm not sure, to be completely honest. (HOLY SHIT LOOK YOU BUNCHA SCAMMERS. 83, 85, 86, 87 ARE MISSING)

88) Do you like the outside?

WHAT IS THE OUTSIDE!? HAHAHA. I don't mind it! I enjoy trekking. (:

 

89) Are you currently bored?

Not really no. *Yawn*

90) Do you wanna get married?

(: When the time comes, I'll decide. But yes. I want a simple wedding too. :3

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I originally thought that calling another person baby was a little... (childish and insulting) Because y'know, you're calling some other person a baby. o_o But I'm fine with the idea now. 

92) Are you hungry?

Nope! *Stomach growls* (^///^)> Ahahahaha.

93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?

;D HEHEHE

94) What makes you happy?

When people give me what I want in a nicely wrapped way. :D And doing things I like.

95) Would you change your name? 

Never.

96) Ever been to Alaska?

One day. (WHERE IS 97)

98) Do you watch the news?

Rarely these days. But I keep myself update through other means!

 

99) What’ s your zodiac sign?

:D NANANANANA BAT MAAANANNNN. I'M A... A... A... TIMID AND CRAFTY CREATURE

100) Do you like Subway?

ERMAHGERD SUBAWAY <3

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Naaaahhh. Mummy knows best.

102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

ERMAHGERD LET'S START A HAPPY FAMILY. NOT. o_o WHY NOW.

103) Do you talk like your friends? 

ERMAHGERD WE BE BITCHES. Nahhh. We don't talk the same.

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?

(WHERE IS 104) Yes, many times. :DD

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Yeaaaahahhaha! :D

107) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My boyfriend.

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?

YES. STOP POLLUTING THE AIR.

109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Myself.

110) Favourite lyrics right now?

I'm pretty obsessed with the lyrics of Metro Station's Shake It, Something 'Bout Love by David Archuleta and Five For Fighting's Superman.

111) Can you count to one million?

 YEAH BUT I DON'T WANNA. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT.

And done! :D This quiz is bad. It skips so so so so many numbers.

the bear cub loves everybody.